34

My neighbour's flat was plenty of plants, so it was full of flies. I don't know how, but my penguin could break into the flat and eat'em all.

33

My neighbour thought a hurricane had gone through his flat, but I learned it was František's fault when I saw her beak covered with flies.

32

The radar photo showed my car at 180 km/ph driven by no one. Once again František had taken my car without my permission. Damned penguin!

31

František now loves sushi chewing gum. It's a bad habit, I must get unstuck at least forty times before I reach the main door.

30

But František brought the hippo to my bathtube. They splashed the whole room. Later they were so hungry that they nearly ate the new sushiboy.

29

I had to convince the penguin to leave her new friend. But at last the vet believed me. However I couldn't believe the vet was invisible too.

28

I had to take František to the vet's. Hyperthermia. The vet didn't see her. He thought I was insane. My penguin met an invisible hippo there.

27

My girlfriend said I was crazy to live in a giant freezer and have an invisible penguin pet. František suggested recycling her for sushi.

26

František and me are friends again. I love that fool penguin. I cooked spaghetti to celebrate it. She loves knitting  spaghetti carpets.

25

I argued with František. She leaves all her sushi rests on the floor. As a revenge she sleeps in my underwear. I smell of fish the whole day.

24

I took František to the aquarium. I left her with the royal penguins. Three hours later she was back, she couldn't stand inferior penguins.

23

I'm more and more worried about František. Now she spends the whole day practising zen. The penguin's even become vegetarian. What's next?

22

František's melancholic. Winter's over. She refuses even sushi. I dress up as a giant penguin to make fun, but she uploads me on Youtube.

21

The sushi boy confessed me: 'František explained me she was your wife in a previous life. You lived in Greenland'. That's why I hate fish.

20

My penguin is really fascinating. On TV she's learned to knit. Now she uses the chopsticks to knit me a scarf. She wants me in the Pole.

19

Last night František had fun. After 12 am, she took the keys and went out. She came back home early; she smelt of beer, smoke and herrings.

18

František was in my hand luggage. But the airport officer spent an hour unpacking it, just to find if the smell of fish was a biologic bomb.

17

I took the penguin to the aquatic park. Nobody could see her, so she could swim calmly. But no, she just liked pulling swimsuits down.

16

František got bored. The snow outside smelt. Luckily I found out she enjoyed watching Big Brother on TV while swimming in the inflatable tub.

15

The sushi boy can really see František. I don't know how he can, he doesn't speak English. He taught her to eat sushi with chopsticks.

14

I took František to enjoy the snowy park. She likes imitating dogs, but she can't pee on trees like them. Anyway she left a fish smell track.

13

František comforted me after the incident with my girlfriend. She offered me all her sushi. I wanted to be polite but I'd murder sushimakers.

12

My girlfriend came home. She couldn't perceive František. The pet was nice to her and ate her shoelaces. She got frozen while eating sushi.

11

Apart from having the bathtub always full of ice, František needed something else to feel at ease. I've transformed a room into a freezer.

10

Frantíšek is extremely clean. She's learned at once to poo in the WC, better than most humans. I still ignore if penguins pee as well.

9

I don't really understand why people can't see František. She's such a lovely creature. People coming home just tell me: smells like fish...

8

Feeding František is a pain. I hate fish, but I've found out she likes sushi. I can hardly afford it... but it's just that smell of fish.

7

I've dismounted the whole heating system. It's winter, so František's happy. I'm cold but I like her sliding on the frozen floor of the hall.

6

I had a long, serious talk with František. Despite being a female, I can't change her name. I think she understands it. She ate a few flies.

5

I've just found out two things about František: first, he likes eating flies. Nasty. Second, he's not him, but her. She laid an egg.

3

František is invisible to everybody except to me. I don't know if that's good or not. He's so lovely. Did I tell you he's an emperor penguin?

4

How can people abandon such a lovely creature? Suddenly the penguin attacks my nose taking it for a sardine. Now I see why they abandoned it.

2

We've liked each other at once. I've decided to adopt the penguin. I'll call him František. Lovely. But there's a mystery around František.

1

I've just got a penguin as a pet. I found him wandering about the frozen product section of a supermarket. Somebody had abandoned him.

Alqisa

SURVIVING MY PET

This is a diary of a man who comes across an invisible penguin