CLOSE FRIENDS

The Spanish Prime Minister was reading the reports dealing with his popularity. The papers said that he was the worst deemed PM in the recent history of Spain. The PM was really concerned, he read carefully the cruel lines while he scratched his beard.

He looked around. He was completely alone in his office. It was sad to read that kind of news. He couldn't understand why people didn't appreciate his efforts to save the country. He puffed deeply his authentic ten-euro Cuban cigar and said:

"You're a close friend... I know I can trust you".

The cigar, while lighting up its top, replied with a friendly voice:

"You always can, Mr President, you always can... Keep on doing the same".

The PM sighed. He had found consolation where he knew he would.

Frantz Ferentz, 2012

FREEDOM OF SPEECH

The Spanish Prime Minister got really worried about the last news he was receiving from his Minister:

"Sir, the demonstrators have found the way to put banners on the Moon to protest against our Government".

The Prime Minister scratched his beard. He was aware that it would be impossible to send a police patrol to the Moon to dismantle the banners. It had been hard to place a policeman on every ten square metres throughout the country, but to send them to the moon was virtually impossible.

"How did you find out they have reached the Moon?", asked the PM.

The minister produced a pocket telescope. It had to be directed to the Moon. Then the banners could be perfectly read on the satellite surface.

"Shit", pronounced the PM, who was certainly unable to imagine that nobody had set foot on the Moon to protest, but had imported those telescopes from China, so that when they were directed to the full-moon, they showed the banners against the Government, which in fact were etched on the telescope glass.

Frantz Ferentz, 2012

GREAT PROBLEMS, GREAT SOLUTIONS

The Spanish president was really worried about the bad image his country was offering to the world. The New York Times had published some pictures of Spaniards looking for food in garbage containers.

"We can't tolerate that", protested one of the ministers holding one of the photos during the cabinet council. "I suggest we should send these photographers who offend Spain straight to jail..."

The president scratched his beard. He was thinking over the matter calmly. Then he said to his concerned ministers:

"Don't be so visceral. We live in a civilized country. All we have to do is ban hunger..."

Frantz Ferentz, 2012

ON THE BUS

The man took a seat by the pretty, attractive woman in the bus. He was aware that reading exotic books made him look like a rather interesting person, so he produced that old book he had just bought at a second-hand bookshop a while ago written in Georgian. He knew no Georgian at all, but that was not a problem, that was just a tool. He began to turn the pages and then laugh; he pretended to find the text funny. Meanwhile, the woman was looked at askance by the man, who analysed her reactions. But she did not even smile. Actually, after some ten minutes the woman addressed the man saying:

"You are pathetic. You are the only person in the world who finds funny a Roman Right book written in Georgian".

Frantz Ferentz, 2012

THE HUG

The riot police were not ready to fight against the people. Politicians should defend themselves, take up their own responsibilities. People began to clap at the policemen when they slowly began to put their shields and truncheons down. All of a sudden, a young woman jumped out of the crowd and hugged one of the agents, called José. The clapping became then deafening and the flashes of the journalists immortalised the scene, while everybody claimed for democracy.

Two years later, when José, the same police officer by then unemployed, was about to be evicted from his flat because of an unpaid mortgage, he resisted. He was taken in front of a judge, who condemned him to pay a fine. José, then homeless and moneyless, approached the judge and hugged her tightly, while saying:

"Remember me? I'm the policeman you hugged two years ago during the demonstrations..."

"Yes, I do...", she whispered trembling.

"I just want to give you back your hug", he said to her, before being taken by two safety guards and thrown away violently.

Frantz Ferentz, 2012

THE SUPER-HEROINE

The policeman was writing the answers of the little girl on his notepad, while the detective formulated the questions to little Nancy, only seven years old:

"All right, darling, tell me again that story: why did you push your auntie Meg off the window while she was cleaning the glasses?"

Little Nancy sighed and hugged her teddy bear tightly. Then she explained:

"Because Mum has said ten thousand times that auntie Meg is a super-heroine".

"A super-heroine?", asked the detective.

"Well, not that exactly, what Mum really says is that auntie Meg has an endless super-ego... That means she is a super-heroine, doesn't it?", asked little Nancy opening her beautiful and naive blue eyes. "And super-egos are supposed to fly, aren't they?"

Frantz Ferentz, 2012

LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOUR AS YOURSELF

"Father, I'm a sinner...", confessed the man to the priest."I'm rude to people, you know".

"Well, my son. God will forgive you", said the priest in a lovely tone. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you".

"Are you sure, father?"

"Absolutely".

The man stood up, opened the door of the confessional, faced the priest and began to slap him mercilessly.

"Are you crazy, son?", shouted the priest at the man, defenceless and astonished.

"No, father, I'm just a masochist who follows your command..."

Frantz Ferentz, 2012

EPPURE HA TALENTO

His wife declared him officially a loser. And so was he recognised by his whole circle of acquaintances. However, he was a very talented man, therefore he was able to invent a smartphone app called "the honorable loser", which helped losers throughout the world to bear their misfortune with dignity.

Frantz Ferentz

WHAT IS A FATHER GOOD FOR

To my daughters.

"What does your father represent for you?", asked the headmistress to the student who was sitting in front of her, leg-crossed and chewing gum in a rather cheeky way.

"My father?", answered the girl. "My father is just good to give me money".

The headmistress nodded. She recognised to herself the teenager was another lost case. She let her out. The girl quickly left the high-school building and went back home. She then came up with the idea of going shopping with her friends that afternoon. She'd had to ask for it to her dad, such as she had commented to the school headmistress.

"Hey, dad, need fifty euros...", she said approaching the cash dispenser in the middle of the hall while she produced the credit card.

Frantz Ferentz

SPIRITUAL TECHNIQUE

"Our scanner is the latest in technology. It detects anything a customer would take out of the department store without paying", announced Mr Randhi, the manager of the store to the journalists.

"Anything, absolutely anything?", asked a skeptical journalist.

In that very same moment a customer went through the scanner. The alarm suddenly went on. The security guards took the customer to a private room for a while. Then one of the security guards approached the manager and whispered something to his ear.

"You see?", he addressed the journalists. "Our sophisticated scanner works perfectly. That man had something that wasn't his".

"What was it?", asked full of curiosity the same journalist.

"A life that doesn't belong to him".

Frantz Ferentz, 2011

THE VOICE

He couldn't avoid falling in love with the owner of such a sweet, delicate, full-of-nuances voice. He even began to smoke in order to have an excuse to meet her, but the fact of the voice belonging to a tobacco vending-machine was not important to him.

Frantz Ferentz, 2012