Wednesday 21 November 2012

THE MAN WHO THREW KISSES TO HIS IMAGE ON THE SHOP-WINDOWS


I found the man in the middle of main street. He was well-dressed, in a long wool coat. But what attracted my attention was not his clothes, but his behaviour. He was calmly walking along the street. However he stopped in front of each shop window he found along his walk. Then he threw kisses to his own reflection. I must recognise I was astonished to see such a sample of narcisism, or wasn't he just a freak?

However the man realised I had been watching him for a while, so he understood I was looking for a logical explanation for that weird behaviour, other than a mere sample of narcisism, as I've just said.

"Young woman", he suddenly addressed me, "you'll be wondering why I throw kisses to my own reflection on each shop window, won't you?"

I didn't answer, I was just puzzled.

"Well, I do it for the sake of my image", he explained. "I don't want my image to believe I don't like it, so I'm just trying to cheer it up... Believe me, it's good to make your own image happy, otherwise it might gossip at your back. By the way, I'm just noticing your shadow is unhappy..."


Frantz Ferentz, 2012

THE PERFECT TATTOO


"How do you like my tattoos reproducing several pages of The New York Times on my back and legs?", asked Elisabeth to her boyfriend. "I see you spend a lot of time watching them. It's a piece of art, isn't it?".

"It's amazing, extraordinary..."

"Are you praising them?", she asked flirtingly

"Well, not really. To be honest, what I like about your tattoos is that they update every day, so I've stopped buying newspapers every day. Your love makes me save money".


Frantz Ferentz, 2012


Monday 19 November 2012

THE COOL TATTOO

Alejandra hid a surprise for all those envious friends of hers with whom shared the same territory on the beach every year. She came up the first day of the summer season wearing a fashionable bikini and a long tatoo that went along her back. It was the lyrics of a famous song in English, which obviously made her friends exclaim how amazing the tattoo was. She was sure she'd be the summer's queen. She heard twenty five times at least: "¡Cómo mola!" (=how cool!)

Until the moment when a British lecturer suffering from hangover in his way back to the hotel saw the tattoo on Alejandra's back and said in a macaronic Spanish in front of her friends:

"You, girl... Who on earth has written that piece of shit on your back? How can a tattooist make so many spelling mistakes in just four lines?"

Frantz Ferentz, 2012


WHEN CHILDREN HURT

Dear Dr. Muller. My son doesn't evolve as positively as the rest of his classmates. As an expert, what do you recommend me to do?. Yours, Mrs. Walker.

Dear Mrs Walker. If you still keep the guarantee, try to exchange the thing for a new one. Yours faithfully, Dr. Muller.

Dear Dr Muller. But I was talking about my son, not about a household appliance. Yours. Mrs Walker.

Dear Mrs Walker. Yes, I know. I'm talking seriously, madam, and I was referring to your son, too. Best regards. Dr Muller.

Frantz Ferentz, 2012

Wednesday 14 November 2012

SOCIAL NETWORKS REFLECT

"Wish I could eliminate people so easily in the real world as on social networks", thought Marina while looking at John's profile for the last time, the man who had just broken up with her with just a SMS.

She clicked on the remove friendship button and then OK. John was no longer among her friends on the social network.

The next morning she learned John had been found dead in front of his computer. The police said a shoot came out of his computer screen.

Marina's reaction was to cancel her own profile before someone might remove her friendship and end up like John. She didn't expect she'd be found dead with her head inside the computer monitor the next morning. The police considered it a suicide.



Frantz Ferentz, 2012