WHEN LOVE IS YOUR RUIN

John was absolutely in love with Clarinda, but instead of giving her an engagement ring, he gave her a silver key and explained:

"This is the key of my heart, use it, it's only yours", and then he showed her a keyhole on his chest.

She smiled happily, but she was not moved at all. Actually the man had made a serious mistake, since he had helped Clarinda find out so easily what her real vocation was: organ trader.

Frantz Ferentz, 2014

ABOUT LOVE AND PERCEPTION

"I've been married to you for the last fifteen years... It's time I mentioned you how wary I am about you. Let's see, you eat like a dog, you roar like a dog, you sit like a dog... Tell me, please, are you really a dog?", asked the woman to her husband, who was calmly sitting on the carpet in front of the TV set.

"Goal! Goal! Goal! Have you seen that shoot! Wow, wow, wow!!", he shouted suddenly and began to lick his genitals calmly and pleasantly.

Frantz Ferentz, 2014

MONOTHEISM AGAINST POLYTHEISM: THE EVIDENCES

The good pastor didn't give up in order to convince the unbelieving woman about the existence of God. He had chosen an amazing landscape for that: and endless prairie where Nature had no limits.

"Rely on me, my friend, you can believe in what you don't see", said the priest in a cloying voice.

"I can't, really. I just believe in what I see. That's why I am not monotheist, but polytheist".

"How come?", the pastor was astonished. "You mean, you've ever experienced more than one god?"

"Exactly. As a matter of fact, I've already come across dozens of them..."

The pastor could not believe his ears. For a while he thought she was making fun of him, but he refused to believe it, so he asked:

"Please, explain it to me".

"It's quite simple. The social networks are plenty of gods and goddesses. And they are continuously showing themselves off over there... Haven't you noticed it?"

Frantz Ferentz, 2014

THE RIGHT CONCEPT

I had always thought it was one of my husband's jokes to speak about the "blank sheet fear" instead of the blank sheet syndrome, until I found the lower half of his body lying on the floor and the blank sheet on his table eructing and  covered with hundreds of blood-like spots.

Frantz Ferentz, 2014

A MATTER OF DEFINITIONS

She finally made her mind up: she'd divorce him, the main argument being he was a cannibal.

"How come I am a cannibal", he cried when he learned what his wife had said about him. "I'm a perfect vegan!!

"Exactly", she explained, "a dude who spends his whole life vegetating on a sofa and eats vegetables is a cannibal, isn't he?"

Frantz Ferentz, 2014

THE PERFECT MAN

Woman is urgently looking for a man who can cook, talk intelligently about literature, music or movies, be romantic and drink beer moderately. If you are that man, please, call my husband up and tell him you actually exist and are not a product of my imagination.

Frantz Ferentz, 2014 

CHILDISH AND UNCHILDISH BELIEFS

"I don't like people who believe in childish things, such as unicorns and fairies", he said while drinking up his pint in the pub.

She glanced at him. He seemed an interesting guy she could start a relationship with.

"Neither do I", she replied after a while, her pint between both her hands. "That's why I'd rather believe in unchildish things such as the soul of machines, you know..."

Frantz Ferentz, 2014